“I swear after having this phone for a day you would want to disembowel that phone.” -A friend?
I’m tired of someone trying to convince me their phone is the greatest discovery since pornography on the internet. I’m sorry but your (insert your new phone here) is not the cellphone messiah here to save us from our dire mistake in the garden where we partook of the apple, and by garden I mean your local Bestbuy, and the apple is well, Apple in this scenario. Not to say that I am an advocate of all things monotone, crisp and aesthetically pleasing (as I type from my MacBook Pro and check my twitter account on my Iphone 5) because I am sort of, but this is really about the “cell phone thumpers” that swear on their swipe texting abilities that their phone is and will always reside on the right hand on God himself for checking incoming prayers and whether Rihanna has responded to his “your’re so sexy” tweet.
People need to relax about their phones. It’s a phone, no even better it’s a smart phone, so they all basically do the same thing, help you waste time, and the newer ones just help you do it at a faster rate. As long as I can stay keyed into Katy Perry’s Instagram account, check my BuzzFeed articles and continually check my Facebook only to confirm no one is still thinking of me, I’ll be fine. So please leave me alone with your Android vs. iOS debates, I am content, my thumb can reach ever part of the screen, I can text quickly and ignore calls from my girlfriend or anyone else that didn’t get the text message that phone conversations are not only dead but highly annoying. And the same goes for iOS users, no one wants to hear about your once-thought-to-be-leader-of-the-free-world Steve Jobs and how everything about the iPhone is perfect and your “customization is for losers” attitude. Sounds very 1984 to me. So please everyone take a hint, if the phone is that awesome it will speak for itself, I do not need your assistance in my decision for phones, this is not a primary election. And stay the eff away from my house on Saturday mornings, because I just want to sleep, @Jehovah’s Witnesses.
Casually Eclectic 